I'mma tell you, like Wu told me....

Cash rules everything around me....singin dolla dolla bills y'all. God, how I would love to get the douche bag that wrote that song in a strangle hold. It's amazing how some things turn out. My case, no matter how hard I try, I always sit and watch myself become the enemy. Even if some of the reasons this comes about are not even a fault of my own, I always end up reaping the benefeits of someones shitty atittude. To watch yourself lose the one you care about the most on hunch that is a 100% lie, and for a whole family to alienate you over a debt thats far from capital. Times like these where I sit and wonder, maybe I better off answering to no one, maybe, just maybe....this being alone thing isnt that bad. I am better trusting no one, that way I can never get burned.

Seriously?

Who would've thunk that it would snow 2 times this year all ready.....Not me. I'm used to getting snow maybe once every 5 years, not twice in a new year. Guess that goes to show you everything doesn't always happen like you think it's going to , or how you're use to it happening. But hey, I've learned thats just how life goes. You can spend days, months, even years trying to search for ways to make things more comfortable, or just a little more....shall we say "routine" to what you're use to. Whether it be the the people in your life, where you live, the car you drive, or your favorite restaurant on the corner that closed when you were 12, Things in the past that made life what it was back then cant be a part of what life is now.

Me personally, theres times where I sit and wonder, and I search, and I wish for things to be the way they used to be. Knowing where all my friends are, Knowing what pretty face I'm coming home to when I get off work, Knowing that I'm debt free and that I dont have 80 million tickets and fines to pay off, and Having a family; even though they werent my own to welcome me, and to be happy to see me everytime I walk through their door. Alot of these things are only memories now, maybe some will return, maybe not. But until then, I have to get my current straight

old as hayle...

So as of January 29th, 2009 i switched some biological numbers around.......I'm freakin' 20 years old. Do I feel older? No. Do I feel any Different? No. Are things a lot different than my last birthday?....God yes.

But On a lighter, I stated some opinions in a previous about someone who will remain nameless (Only because i keep slight consideration in mind.), And I do apologize for the way they came out, But in no way do i regret saying them. You ever seen that movie with Leo DiCaprio when hes that plane inventor with OCD? Well cut a few scenes to where ole' buddy leo gets locked in a room for months. What happens to him? Right, He goes absolutely insane. No contact from anyone, not even his girl in the movie....one of the reasons he was locked in. And I know I'm saying a lot, so I'll cut to it, You cant just leave someone without anything....nothing to grow on or hope for, even a quick "fuck you i hate you." would of sufficed. Or Maybe I just don't understand your reasoning... But now I can Finally say that I'm through. You don't have to worry about me contacting you, or saying anything to you for that matter, Because i have been on the most fucked up unfair roller coaster ride for the past few months, And I'm ready to get off and leave this ride behind.

You kept me here long enough to get comfortable, and start a new life. Well, I'm here to tell you, i do admit i asked people for help, but no more. I'm sick of you running, and im tired of chasing you, and these new people in your life must mean more to you than anything has. I admit, you do have a cleaver way of burning bridges. Just know one more thing....This bridge is burned to the ground, and it's gonna stay that way.

Thank you.